17 posts tagged “dating diaries”

I don't know if it's official yet, but I keep hearing that woman from the trailers for "He's Just Not That Into You,' saying, "Get yourself some ribs and some ice cream...because you have been dumped."

I'll keep you posted.

State of the Union: Hungry
Listening to: It's Friday, I'm in Love by the Cure

Okay, WTF is really going on? Less than a week ago, I put up a picture of Jonathan and myself. I actually put it out there, for the world to see, that I actually like a boy, and I've liked him for a while now. But, the most messed up thing has been happening. The rejects are trying to make a comeback. I have gotten phone calls, texts, and emails from just about every dude I've dated this year.

What's up with that? Why do boys do that? It's like they have a pager that goes off with,"Ohhh, Slayer is happy. Gotta go f--k this up real quick." I've gotten dinner invites, invitations to shows, drink invitations, offers of massages (the only one I was actually tempted with. What? My shoulders are hella tight right now). You name it; I got invited to it.

Why now? Why call now? Are they sad because it's Christmastime and they have no one to be with? Is it because they need a date for New Years? Whatever it is, It sucks. They weren't attentive when we were dating. They never called on a regular basis. They texted sporadically. They emailed at odd times and IMed me  only to harass me. The communication exchange was *nothing* like they've been doing these past few days. Lisa and I have been having some good laughs over this. It kinda sucks that all these rejects are blowing me up and the one that I actually *want* to talk to is super busy.

Life just isn't fair.

State of the Union: Amused
Listening to: Just Dance by Lady GaGa

I am a good trophy girlfriend. All girlfriends should be like me. Yeah, right. Anyway, I hadn't seen my boy in like five days. It's not a long time, but it feels like dog years when you hate school, you're sick of work, and you just want someone to cuddle with that doesn't work your last nerve and make you want to stab them in the eye with a spork. Said boy has not came over for dinner yet (Birdy, please vouch for my cooking. You haven't died from it), but I'm okay with it. My school and work schedule required good hurdling abilities.

He went out to do "guy stuff" yesterday and I think his boy radar went off that little ol' Slayer was feeling like she should buy a ticket to the Island of Misfit Girlfriends because I was feeling a tad bit forgotten (Not much, just a smidge) So you can imagine how my spirits lifted when I got invited to Nerd Movie Night with Jonathan and his roommate. He went and ordered us Veal Marsala and we all watched The Dark Knight (Yes, I finally gave into the peer pressure and watched it. I liked all the things blowing up, but there needs to be more fight scenes like in James Bond. We all know I love it when boys get physical).

My poor honey had to wake up at the buttcrack of dawn to be in Temple tomorrow, so we called it an early night. I was walking to my car when it happened: it started snowing!

Not real Minnesota snow that you need snow tires and a plow for, but Texas snow. I called him out and we watched it together and I got the smoochies I so desperately craved (I *was* kiss deprived). Yes, we were totally gay and kissed in the snow. Whatevs. It made me happy, so shut it. We're supposed to hang out together this weekend. He warmed my dark and twisty heart when he said that he would come to my belly dance recital. In all the years I've been dancing, the only people that ever came were Cathy and Gianni. Even if he doesn't show up, just the fact that he even wanted to, well, he gets a really good dessert now.

I'm pretty content right now. Don't think I'm going soft and losing my edge; I'm still the same bitchface I've always been, but I will admit, he does make me go gooey in the knees at times and I catch myself being nicer to people. I must cut that out. He's cool and he makes me happy, especially when he agreed to take a picture with me just because I told him that my bloggy people want to see what he looks like.......

State of the Union: Blissfully sleepy
Listening to: Mouth by Bush

I had a choice to make. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I thought about what I wanted out of life. I thought about my goals, my wants, my desires, my plans. I thought about who makes me laugh, who wanders in and out of my mind at random times. I thought about who pops into my daydreams sometimes. Then I thought about my plans for the coming year that I can actually make now and I thought about who I would want standing beside me as I trekked the world.

I think I knew, from the first time he came up behind me as I was texting and asked me if I was waiting for someone, that he was the boy for me. You ever feel that spark of electricity that you get when you meet someone you're really, really attracted to? Ever feel your breath hitch a little bit in your throat? Now imagine those two things happening simultaneously, and you'll begin to feel how I feel every single time I see him.

I thought I would be waging an internal war with myself, and I'd have to have this big, long, drawn out debate. None of that happened. I just asked myself, honestly, if I would be okay if this person walked out of my life. The answer was no.

I guess that was all the answer I needed.

State of the Union: Relieved
Listening to: Wonderful Surprise by Shawn Hlookoff

I have noticed an emerging pattern. I blog about a guy, how much I like him, how nice he is and, within a week (tops) he does something mean or boneheaded and unforgivable. My boy buffet has been culled down to a two entree menu. You know both of them. Well, I've blogged about both of them. Both have been warned that I blog and that, if I decide to keep them, they will not only be dating me, but everyone on this blog site as well. Neither of them has ran yet either, so you guys must be going soft in the commenting department.

I like them both. They are polar opposites, but they have similar qualities that attracts me to both: i.e. being smart, nice, funny, sarcastic, well mannered and cool to be around. Neither one of them treats me like crap, so that works out well, too. On the not-so-cool side, both have their issues with commitments and relationships and the like. Both of them are divorced and they both had wives that thought they wanted to be married and then decided, midstream, to change course. Both of them seem to like me. Obviously, their taste in women is just off.

Me? I'm just having fun. I don't know which one I like more than the other. I just kick it with them. I'm trying the whole, "just let it happen" approach. What'll happen will happen. I am interested to see how this picture will develop and which man will be left standing at the end.......

State of the Union: Chill
Listening to: Shake it by Metro Station

I know that I have been remiss in the blogging department. How do I know, you ask? Because Meg called me from California to tell me that I haven’t been blogging lately. I laughed until I cried later because she was bill collecting for blogs. Seeing as I am a bill collector in real life, this scenario has provided multiple giggle sessions for me. Well, she was very effective, obviously, because here I am, blogging.

I’m about to hit a touchy subject. I have been told, on numerous occasions, that I do not have a woman’s mentality. I think like a dude. I’m decisive. Blunt. I cut through the gristle and get straight to the meat. So, now I have to put this question to women that actually think like women. Ladies, when you’re having sex with a man and he doesn’t "ring your bell," do you tell him? Or do you keep that little tidbit to yourself? And men, when a woman doesn’t "arrive," do you want her to be honest about it, or do you want her to fake it like she’s up for an Academy Award?

THIS IS ABOUT TO VERGE INTO A QUASI TMI SECTION. IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW, STOP READING AND JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION THAT I POSED ABOVE!!!!!!!!!!

I was dating this guy and he was a potential. He had his personal life together, good career, smart, funny, looked like one of those hottie boys  in the Urban Outfitters catalogues. He even had a sleeve. (Yes, I am still shivering about that because tattoos are hot, I don’t care what anyone says) He finally managed to woo his way into my affections and my bed and I, apparently, delivered a TKO. He couldn’t get me off. None of his tried, true, and trusted methods worked. It’s like I handed him his gilded balls on a silver platter after laughing at the size of them in his face. I’m not exaggerating. I am quoting, word for word, what he said. And no, I didn't laugh. I was not in a felicitous mood at that point, trust me. He had asked me if I came, and I was honest and said no, not even close.

Then, to make matters worse, I think I broke him. No, I didn’t sit on his chest and crack his ribs or anything. He came so hard that his balls started to hurt. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I would like to pat myself on the back for a job well done, but he looked so forlorn. He’s apparently this big ladies man up in Belton and known for making a girl cum in less than three minutes with his oral techniques and less than ten in bed with his “patented stroke techniques” and I? I was like, “Okay. Is that it?” I didn’t say it aloud. I was just thinking it. I was bored, so I took over, and that’s when I blew his gaskets.

He left with his nuts mildly throbbing and he said they did that for another day or so. A couple of text messages and one awkward phone call and I haven’t heard from him since. This happened a while ago, but I haven’t put it up until now because I don’t know, I guess I was embarrassed. I’ve grown up all my life with my dad telling people to stop busting his balls and I always thought it was a metaphor. I didn’t know it could really happen…….

State of the Union: Embarrassed
Listening to: Slingshots by Morley
 

I know I’ve been off the radar for a little while. Things are…crazy, to say the least. Remember the guy I blogged about? The nice genuinely nice one? Well, he was genuinely nice…right up until I found raunchy emails between him and my cousin. The situation is this. She posted up an ad under Casual Encounters on Craig’s List (Yes, my head is down in shame because I make fun of those fools regularly on my blog) and met this guy. I warned her to be careful because you never know who the heck is on the other side of the email and she’s an open person and people take advantage of her naïveté sometimes. I thought she was posting under Women for Men. I see nothing wrong with online dating. I know seven couples that met online and five of them are married now and two are in committed relationships.

She’s been using my desktop and she left her gmail account up. I never would have noticed except I went to go download a song for my party on Saturday. When I saw it, I thought I left my account up because I saw his email address on the email. I started reading it and, color me stupid, I was confused for a minute there because I didn’t remember that email at all. I was obviously not the sharpest knife in the drawer because it didn’t click at first. When it did, I didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry.

I’m leaning towards crying. Not because of him. A couple of dates are not tear-worthy. I’m more in shock at the email that she sent to him. I am floored because the email that she sent him said that she wanted to have a threesome with me and another guy. Before you think we’re from Kentucky or West Virginia or something, I have to say, we’re not blood cousins. We’re related by marriage, but still. I know it’s not the same thing as being blood kin, but I am skeeved out nonetheless.

I guess I am disappointed. Disappointed in him for being the type of man that would troll the Casual Encounters section. Disappointed in her for posting there in the first place. Disappointed in myself for actually believing that he was a genuinely good guy and mad at myself for surrounding myself with boneheads, yet again.

State of the Union: Bummed
Listening to: Believe by the Bravery

I have a rule that I can't delete a blog entry after I put it up. I wish I could because I totally would. Let's just say that the minute I say something nice about someone, they start acting like a butthole. Especially if they're male.

One good thing came out of this. More on that when I finally finish my Rosh Hashanah post.

State of the Union: Disappointed
Listening to: Harder to Breathe by Maroon 5

Hell has frozen over. The world is coming to an end. I met a boy. A *normal* boy (I can hear all of you audibly gasping and then saying, "Ooooh." I really can). He's genuinely nice. Like "I'm a nice person" nice and not "I'm only pretending to be nice so that you'll be lulled into a sense of security and then you'll let down your guard and give me some booty" nice. He has home training (That's manners, people).

He calls when he says he will. He texts for no reason. He's just cool. He took me on out on Monday night and got me home at a respectable hour because he remembered that I had a Trig test the next day. He was respectful. He's smart. He deals with his responsibilities and doesn't have his head firmly ensconced up his ass. He was really funny and he doesn't like the Cowboys. Plus, he actually read my blog. I have friends that I have know for *years* that haven't read my blog. He actually warmed my cold, dark, twisty little heart.

He's fun. He's considerate. He's smart. He's normal. As I told Meg, I will promptly mess this up in a week or less.......

State of the Union: Slightly Optimistic
Listening to: David Letterman ripping into John McCain on You Tube.

The title says it all. I am normally not in the habit of posting someone's electronic correspondence, but I have to make sure that I'm not leaping to conclusions here. You read it and then tell me if you went where I went. We join this chat session already in progress.........

funwontx (5:53 PM): Did I lose you?
DeeDee (5:56 PM): No, you didn't lose me. I'm at work, so occasionally, I actually have to work. I'm very sad about this turn of events.
funwontx (5:56 PM): lol....keep it up! it will pay off.
DeeDee (5:57 PM): It's payday Friday and everyone else is headed off to happy hour and I'm stuck here. That kinda blows.
DeeDee (5:57 PM): So, I decided to shop online
funwontx (5:58 PM): what is your job
DeeDee (5:59 PM): Mistress of Fun
DeeDee (5:59 PM): Just kidding. I work in Collections for a cable company.
funwontx (5:59 PM): ahhhh..cool
funwontx (5:59 PM): breaking knee caps huh!
funwontx (5:59 PM): so everyone else is gone?
DeeDee (6:00 PM): No. Why does everyone say that?
DeeDee (6:00 PM): There are four people in my department. One went home early, one had an "emergency" and had to leave, and the other one works 8-4.
funwontx (6:01 PM): well then we should take advantage of a GOLDEN opportunity and make mad passionate love on your desk what a RUSH that would be
DeeDee (6:03 PM): You are a freaky, freaky man.
funwontx (6:03 PM): only in the most wonderful of ways
DeeDee (6:04 PM): There are people coming in and out of here all the time, so that wouldn't work, plus, I don't know you all that well. You could be some psycho perv.
funwontx (6:04 PM): or i could be an amazing man who knows how to take you to the next level
DeeDee (6:05 PM): Yeah, well, I'm not one of those girls that practice free love with people they don't know. Call me old fashioned
funwontx (6:06 PM): i didnt ask for free love. Our previous conversation had a sexual content to it. Don't get all prude on me now
DeeDee (6:09 PM): I know you didn't ask me for it. There was a mild sexual innuendo in there and I'm not a prude, but I'm not cheap, either.
DeeDee (6:09 PM): The sex will come. Just not the first time I go on a real date with you
funwontx (6:09 PM): and besides, all i was doing was offering a "lifetime" moment....appreciate it, even if you are not brave enough to explore it
funwontx (6:09 PM): cheap? i wouldnt be talking to you if i thought you were cheap
DeeDee (6:09 PM): I work from 11-8. There are plenty of "lifetime" moments as my department empties out at about seven.
funwontx (6:10 PM): why silly rules about when sex will come? if we like each other, there should be no artificial barriers one way or the other.
funwontx (6:11 PM): no lifetime moments like the one i was offering
DeeDee (6:11 PM): I just know me. I talk about girls that do things like that, so I can't very well be a hypocrite and do the same thing. '
DeeDee (6:11 PM): Besides, I don't want to be one of those girls that leads a dude on or gives him the wrong idea.
funwontx (6:13 PM): then you might not want to be sexual in your phone conversations if you are scared of sex in real life. right???
funwontx (6:14 PM): artificial barriers to living life and being real seem very high schoolish to me. not to say we should have sex, but if we feel like it, then no silly rule should keep us from it. does that make any sense?
DeeDee (6:15 PM): I get where you're coming from, but it's not a rule. It's who I am. I have to be able to respect myself and I wouldn't be able to do that if I hit skins with you on the first date. Besides, I told you a silly joke I heard in class. I wasn't referring to sex between the two of us.
DeeDee (6:15 PM): I'm not scared to have sex. I think it's a beautiful thing, but if I wanted to randomly hook up with a guy, then I would go to Vicci or put up an ad in Casual Encounters on Craig's List or something.
funwontx (6:16 PM): so you view sex as disrespectful? where on earth did you come up with that? sex is not a negative act, why turn it into a negative?
funwontx (6:17 PM): i wasnt talking about a random hookup. you aren't understanding a thing i am saying are you?
DeeDee (6:19 PM): I'm not saying it's negative. I'm not saying it's disrespectful. I am just saying that it won't happen for me the first time I meet someone.
funwontx (6:19 PM): you seem to have some pretty thick mental walls when it comes to sexuality. not uncommon, but very sad for you and your life. you will outgrow them hopefully as you mature and gain wisdom.
DeeDee (6:20 PM): You're making snap judgments when you don't even know me. Please don't patronize me and act like you're sooo much older and soooo much more experienced than I am.
funwontx (6:20 PM): if you EVER bar amazing things from happening to you or your life for ANY reason, then you should re-examine your life. it should be a wake up call for you.
funwontx (6:20 PM): not at all
funwontx (6:20 PM): i am merely going on what you are telling me
funwontx (6:21 PM): you are making artificial barriers where none exist. pretty obvious to a smart person
DeeDee (6:25 PM): I'm not making artificial barriers to anything. I know who I am. I know what I will and will not do. I could play the coquette like some women and be a tease, but at least I'm honest. I don't play games. My body is worth something to me and I won't just give it away. I need time to make sure that I'm sleeping with someone because I genuinely like them or because my hormones are getting the better of me.
funwontx (6:25 PM): so having sex is somehow "giving your body away"????? what a NEGATIVE way to view something so amazing.
funwontx (6:26 PM): so "hormone" sex is bad?
DeeDee (6:29 PM): Hormone sex is bad for me because I want to make that decision with an unclouded mind. I like to be in sync mentally and physically. I refuse to be ruled by raging sexual energy.
funwontx (6:29 PM): you and i are never going to see eye to eye. i view sex as wonderful, natural, normal, amazing, and fantastic.....not a SINGLE negative thing about it. you seem very pessimistic and negative about it.......a bastardization of what it is all about. very sad and disappointing. i fully understand where it comes from, but was hoping that you had enough introspection and self-actualization to overcome the negativity. seems as though you probably don't.
funwontx (6:30 PM): so hormones "cloud the mind"??? omg. what a warped and negative way to view life.
DeeDee (6:31 PM): Any person with self actualization would realize that I'm making a mature choice.
funwontx (6:33 PM): lol......i would say that artificial barriers are in fact very immature. they are nothing but defense mechanisms.
DeeDee (6:35 PM): I'm not being defensive. I recognize what you're saying. I had to take the same prerequisite psych class, too. Your dime store, intro to psych liturgy will not work on me. Besides, I'm Jewish. I know all the ins and outs of manipulating people using shame and guilt. My nana and father have been doing it to me for years. I just have a strong sense of self.
funwontx (6:35 PM): i'm sure you are a cool person, but we'd need to be compatible on the mind, body, and soul level.....and i can see that we are just on totally different levels sexually. i dont have any mental hang-ups at all about sexuality. we are probably not a fit....even though you are very attractive and seem intelligent (in all ways but sexually! lol )
funwontx (6:36 PM): i wasnt saying you were defensive. you misunderstood.
funwontx (6:36 PM): so people with a "strong sense of self" somehow dont like sex? that is pretty far out there! LOL
DeeDee (6:36 PM): I don't have a mental hang up towards sex. I just don't want to be pressured into it. I'm not talking about other people. I'm talking about me.
funwontx (6:37 PM): we never said anything about being pressured. where on earth did that come from?
funwontx (6:37 PM): sounds VERY negative
DeeDee (6:37 PM): If you say that I sound negative one more time, I swear I will scream. I know when someone is trying to use psych babble to try and confuse me and make me doubt my beliefs and decisions. I'm not being negative. I'm make a rational, mature decision to not jump into bed with the first hot guy that asks me.
funwontx (6:38 PM): just being honest with you girl. i will always be honest with you in all things. i respect you enough for that.
DeeDee (6:47 PM): If you respected me, you would respect my decision and quit trying to force the issue. You and I will never have a marriage of the minds on this particular issue. I can be the freakiest girl that you will ever meet in your life....once I feel comfortable with you. A coffee date or dinner is not enough time for me to feel comfortable enough to share my goodies with anyone. I don't care if you're Brad Pitt; I'm not having sex with you on the first date. I don't care what other people do or how other people feel. They are entitled to their own opinions and can own up to their own behavior. I can only speak for me.
funwontx (6:48 PM): lol......fair enough.
DeeDee (6:49 PM): Of course it's fair. I said it, didn't I?
funwontx (6:50 PM): lol
DeeDee (6:51 PM): In case you haven't noticed, I have a smart mouth. The effect of education, as Jane Austen would say.
funwontx (6:52 PM): you are a woman of contradictions
DeeDee (6:52 PM): I am a font of contradictions.
funwontx (6:52 PM): yup
DeeDee (6:53 PM): It's probably all the conflict in my life. I was raised Christian and Jewish. I'm black and greek.
funwontx (6:54 PM): alas.....just scared of sex
DeeDee (6:54 PM): I know you are deliberately goading me.
DeeDee (6:55 PM): The only thing I am afraid, besides an STD that can't be cured with penicillin, is bad sex and men with small penises.
funwontx (6:55 PM): damn honesty again
funwontx (6:55 PM): well i bring neither of those to the table
DeeDee (6:55 PM): Well, then you have nothing to worry about when I finally decide to break you off some, huh?
funwontx (6:56 PM): i have to get going. we could meet tonight if you wish. text me....512.350.XXXX (I bleeped out his number)
funwontx (6:57 PM): .....and i promise to pull out ! LOL
DeeDee (6:57 PM): You keep acting like an overbearing jerk and you'll never get the chance, butthole!!!!!!!!!!
funwontx (6:57 PM): hehe
DeeDee (6:57 PM): bye
funwontx (6:57 PM): you mad?
DeeDee (6:58 PM): No. To get mad, I would have to care.
funwontx (6:58 PM): ok now worries
DeeDee (6:58 PM): peace out

Okay, now that you've read that sad exchange, was I overreacting? Was he not twisting my words to suit his own nefarious and lecherous plans?

State of the Union: Steamed
Listening to: Harder to Breathe by Maroon 5